Apr
2005
28

My first permanent job in life

I'm reading a CCM book called 豬頭皮的開天窗 in Towngas Avenue.

This is the tenth day for my permanent time job in life. Though Carrie said it seems that I’ve worked there for one year, not one week.

I brought my desktop calendar back to office, and started filling it up with pens of different color. I’m shocked to know that the schedule is very tight. It’s already running out of time when I’m still adapting the new environment and new colleagues. Having to attend technical meeting in outside venue on the first day of work, I just got two hours to investigate in every details of the projects lying ahead, checked up the equipment we got in order to design live sound system for May’s event. Days after I participated in a meeting with all the staff and the chairman of the directors’ board, about organization’s future and strategic plans. Another production meeting yesterday for three concerts in May and three large concerts in August. The possibility of working as sound operator in these concerts is very high, while the size of venue is so big that I don’t have enough experience. On the other hand I need to hand in editing for one song this week, another nine songs in May. Recording of two songs to go, and still waiting for music and lyrics. Mixing and mastering will start in early June… many more.

I’m stressed and depressed, wandering if I really got abilities in handling all these things.

Glad that I work well with colleagues. We don’t need to explain a lot when talking about CCM (contemporary Christian music) and projects on hand, cause we have been working in these stuff for years in different places. It seems we have been working together for so long. I got that feeling when I first meet another close working partner of mine since last summer. I love the feeling that all people are all ready to cooperate with each other, having mutual trust and expectation on each other.

Year ago, I start to think about one question: is it too late to start a new career in age 28? Especially the industry I’m working in is greatly affected by age, for our hearing ability keeps dropping when we get old. Am I too old to pick up new challenges, while I’m not a people with great ambitions and goals?

I got an answer from my Lord: “Never too late!”

Don’t look back! Lift all the burdens, sad and bad experience to Him. He won’t erase my memories like Lacuna Inc., but help me to get through. He may not change the surroundings, but definitely will encourage me and lead me to grow inside – this is much aggressive than stay and wait for outside changes!

I’m still the little girl standing in the corner, afraid of the road ahead, being fragile and weak.

Tuesday night, after returning home from Frontline practice, I was really tired. I shed tears. I got some space and time to handle my emotion. I told my Lord that I was weak. I was lost. I needed to be padded and hugged by love ones. I needed my Lord telling me, “It’s okay, I’m in charge!”

I listened to CCM all night long. Weeks ago I’ve suspected that am I involving too much in CCM? I’m working fulltime in a CCM organization as engineer, supervise the studio and assist in music productions, events and outings. I work as freelance engineer in Steven’s studio, while booking is confirmed for the whole year already. I’m starting a company about CCM, and need to build a well established sophisticated website. Apart from work, I involve greatly in Frontline, as a singer and core member, developing several projects simultaneously. My business partner said I would be much happier if I reduce some workloads. However, when I’m back into CCM, back into music, back into the deep meaning of the lyrics and melodies, I felt that I was relieved immediately. I’m lucky that there’re many people working hard in CCM throughout the years, and become my encouragement on the road. No matter they are still involved in the music scene, their works never fade. This is my BELIEF!!!

I slept in God’s peace.

I’m glad that friends surrounding are willing to accept a fragile and emotional me. They keep reminding me not to burnout. Some friends keep teasing on me about unimportant but funny stuff, to make me laugh everyday. Some friends talk with me about their dreams, their plans, their lives, their worries, their happiness, and their vacation plans. Though we’re living our own lives in different timezones, working in different industries, we’re connected by love and care, even we’re separated by the Pacific Ocean. I thank God for having all of you, being loved and having chance to encourage and love each other.

Be strong, and take courage, for He is sufficient and loving from day one till eternity.

Amen!

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7 Comments

  1. Quote: “Am I too old to pick up new challenges, while I’m not a people with great ambitions and goals?”

    If you belive in this, then you’d be REAL OLD, dear.

    Stay strong, but pls. take very good care of yourself (you know the standard u put on yourself lar).

    //pad //addoil

    Reply

  2. I don’t know if these words will inspire, but I mostly wasted the first ten years or so of my adult life working in a roller-rink. I eventually got motivated and got through school, though not receiving my BS until I was in my thirties. I have a nice career now as a computer programmer and am much more than a decade older than you. You are too young to be worrying about not being young enough or loosing your hearing. I won’t say you will stay young forever and now is probably the time to get your life on track, but this is exactly what you seem to be doing.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is never too late to do things in life, but this shouldn’t be used as an excuse for not doing them.

    Good Luck in all your endeavors
    Larry a.k.a. DumbSwede
    http://jaytv.com/larrys/blog

    Reply

  3. I have said too much to you these days, so I keep it short this time. Please refer to our message history for further information (wah hahaaaaaaaa…..).

    My dearest, let me give you big big big big big bearhugs!!!!

    There is no “late” or “early”, coz HE planned for you already! (wow…this is rhyming!!! ^O^)

    Addoil Addoil and Take Care Take Care. We are with you, Sheta!!! Yo!!!! (This “Yo” is copied from you.)

    Reply

  4. I got two crazy friends who love rhyming… and always drive me crazy…..

    Hey! Where is the other one?!

    Reply

  5. Nice to read your sharing again. As you already spoke out in your mind, it never too later. You know, something takes time to build up experience, to accumulate knowledge. Upon a new beginning, I know that you would find out more interesting in the near future. And in case feeling of burn out and fatigue, jsut call for fun with us.
    =)

    Reply

  6. 經過這些年,妳積累了那麼多樣化的經驗,如今開展新事業,是正好可以發揮自己吧。

    天父讓你現在來開始,會不會正是想妳準備得很好,才穩實的開拓如今的路?

    同時兼顧那麼多項目,時間又那麼緊絀,已妳依然能勝任,這已是妳的實力的有力證明。好勁呀妳!

    為妳打氣!

    Reply

  7. 話時話,我都去過Town Gas Avenue,我去過吃英式下午茶,那麼寧靜又開揚的環境,布置又素淨,感覺很好,捨不得走。

    Reply

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